jojo-123

How did it End up like This? Heaviness Settling Upon us Weighing us Down Sucking our Soul out of Our bodies Leaving Only a trace Of life once Lived and Now Emptiness Is building Homes in Our skin

It’s like I’m Standing at The edge of The earth Eyes filled With Wild Hunger Heart filled With Empty Fears Wondering How it Would feel To let Go And fall all The way Down Into the Unknown

Every time the Ocean pushes Me back to the Shore I crawl back Lunges full of Salted water Feet planted In the sand And I slowly Walk my way Down Hand in hand With the ghosts Of the past And we drown Together In blissful Darkness

Can’t you hear The screaming And screeching I hide inside a Close lipped smile? I’ve been told That I have A war in my eyes And I’m slowly Putting down my Weapons Falling down in Defeat But the only sound You’ll ever hear Is the utter silence Of the smile that Has not even Reached my eyes

Like a tree My body Twists and Turns into The clear Blue sky Reaching For the life Hanging Between the Clouds Waiting for Freedom to Rain its way Down into My roots and Make me Grow

It’s like I’m half Sleeping through Life and it’s all Just blurry and Senseless and I Cannot wake Up from this Overwhelming Grip of existing And I’m falling Again and again In the same dark Pit with no end Or beginning   With my eyelids Half opened and My life half lived

I want to fade away Into memories and Snippets of moments That would be forgotten I want to stop existing For a moment and just Drift away into a world That is not real Not harsh Not painful But I keep dragging Myself out of bed Dreams sleeping Under my pillow My sense of self Left covered under The blanket And I keep waking up to Harsh glints of sun And chaotic singing Of birds and I wish I could just crawl back Into bed and return Back to the comfortable   emptiness

I’ve left a child Under rubble and Ruin and I turned my Back on her Crossed mountains   And oceans But I still hear her Scream under my Ribcage, begging me To come back home To save her from the Destruction written On my back But I can’t return to That familiar trauma So I let her scream till Her voice becomes the Only lullaby I could Sleep to

Can I shed some Tears today mama? You have told me To always be strong But I’ve held too Many oceans and Now the water is Pushing over my Walls and raging Its way out and I do not think I Could hold this Flood any longer

I have let myself Down way too Many times so Step aside now My flames will burn The sun is finally Rising

My arms will hold you lest you fall. Hold you tight and keep you warm. Whisper words to drown the storm. Light a candle by your bed. Keep a vigil, sooth your head. Comfort you in darkest night. A guiding star to offer light. A friend who will try to make it right.

Inside the well,  that traps my soul. There burns a flame that flickers low and fights against the grain. It flutters, gutters, sways and flows, but keeps burning just the same. A pilot light, that never fails, no matter how the darkness rails. It holds on through the dark travails, never letting go. It is, in fact, the core you see, the heart and strength, the one pure me. When the shadows come to claim my soul, it's tiny light will keep me whole. When darkness assails, it will burn, when all else fails. My light will keep me free.